


My Immortal

by 5SecondsAtTheDisco



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), All Time Low, Hey Violet (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, My Immortal (Freeform), My Immortal - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-06-10 09:29:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 12,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6950716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5SecondsAtTheDisco/pseuds/5SecondsAtTheDisco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>hi im a troll and this is 5sos my immortal</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1. Don't Stop (Trolling Who You're Trolling)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [My Immortal](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/199963) by Tara Gilesbie. 



AN: Special thnks (get it, coz I lik fob) 2 my mum (ew not in that way) Bryana, Beautifully_Broken 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Feldy ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! BLINK ROX!

 

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Hi my name is Michael Gor'don Amnesia Bryana Clifford and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my fangirls) that reaches my mid-head and icy green eyes like limpid emeralds and a lot of people tell me I look like Deryck Whibley (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Bryana Holly but I wish I was because she’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a punk but my hair is flat and not a mowhawk. I have pale white skin. I’m also a rockstar, and Im signed to a label called hi or hey records in LA where I’m the cofounder (I’m twenty). I’m a punk (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love American Apparel and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a green Day tshirt with matching lace around it and a black leather jacket, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing a lot of bracelets cos my fans gaved them 2 me. I was walking outside hi or hey. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of peasantz stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

 

“Hey Michael!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Calum Hood!

 

“What’s up Calum?” I asked.

 

“Nothing.” he said shyly.

 

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

 

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AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me thnks!


	2. Chapter 2. (Calum)'s Kinda Hot

AN: Thnks 2 Beautifully_Broken 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW p easantsstop flaming ma story ok!

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The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I got out of my california king bed and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My bed was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my bed and took of my giant Blink-182 t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather jacket, a safety pin necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on a eybrowring in my pierced eyebrow, and put my hair in a kind of messy emo flop.

My friend, Miranda Miller (AN: Bryana dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length bleached blonde hair with black tips and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her mcr t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. She put on her makeup (red lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

“OMFG, I saw you talking to Calum Hood yesterday!” she said excitedly.

“Yeah? So?” I said, blushing.

“Do you like Calum?” she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

“No I so fucking don’t!” I shouted.

“Yeah right!” she exclaimed. Just then, Calum walked up to me.

“Hi.” he said.

“Hi.” I replied flirtily.

“Guess what.” he said.

“What?” I asked.

“Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade.” he told me.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God!” I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides blink.

“Well…. do you want to go with me?” he asked.

I gasped.


	3. Chapter 3. Unpredictable

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PEASANTZ OK! odderwize thnks 2 da punk ppl 4 da good reveiws! THNKS AGEN BRYANA! oh yeah, BTW I don’t own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.

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On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather jacket with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I dyed my hair and made it look all blue. I felt a little deprezzed then, so I put on of my some mCR. I wrote a depressing song while I waited for it to stop and I listened to some GC. Then I put on some black eyeliner. I didn’t put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Calum was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

“Hi Cal!” I said in a depressed voice.

“Hi Mikey.” he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said idowatiwantimpunkrok) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Panic! At da Disco. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

“You come in cold, you're covered in blood  
They're all so happy you've arrived  
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom  
She sets you free into this life.” sang Joel (I don’t own da lyrics 2 dat song).

“Joel is so fucking hot.” I said to Calum, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Calum looked sad.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

“Hey, it’s ok I don’t like him better than YOU!” I said.

“Really?” asked Calm sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

“Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know Joel and he’s going out with Charlie fucking Simpson. I fucking hate that little bitch.” I said disgustedly, thinking of his ugly eyebrowed face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Calum. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Calum and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Calum didn’t go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into……………………… the Forbidden Forest!


	4. Chapter 4. The Long Way Home

AN: I sed stup flaming ok michael's name is MIKEY nut gary stu OK! CalUM IS SOO IN LUV wif him dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

 

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“CALUM!” I shouted. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”

 

Calum didn’t answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

 

“What the fucking hell?” I asked angrily.

 

“Mikey?” he asked.

 

“What?” I snapped.

 

Calum leaned in extra-close and I looked into his punk brown eyes (nyfing is punk wen clum dose it) which revealed so much depressing angst and hate and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.

 

And then…………… suddenly just as I Calum kissed me passionately. Calum climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. "Wait Cal wtf r u doing I'm michael fucking clifford i top" I said as he took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. "But id o what i want I'm punk rock" "That's my line fuck you" I said climbing on top of him. Then I put my thingie into his you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

 

“Oh! Oh! Oh! ” I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

 

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

 

It was…………………………………………………….Mark Hoppus!..........................................................................................................fucking a dog in the ass!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you wondering about the Mark Hoppus fucking a dog thing that don't already know, Blink-182 had a bonus track on one of their albums called fuck a dog. You can listen to it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHalAUHOrKc


	5. Chapter 5. Just Saying (I Love Him)

 

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a peasant or a posr! Da only reson Mark Hoppus waz fuking a dog is coz he culd only find da dog ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx n needed 2 releve strees! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!

 

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Mark Hoppus made and Calum and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

 

“You ludacris fools!” he shouted.

 

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Calum comforted me. When we went back to the castle Hoppus took us to Rian Dawson  and Nia Lovelis who were both looking very angry.

 

“They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!” he yelled in a furious voice.

 

“Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?” asked Ryan Doorson.

 

“How dare you?” demanded Nia Loveless.

 

And then Calum shrieked. “BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!”

 

Everyone was quiet. Dad Hoppus and Rian Doorson still looked mad but Nya Loveless said. “Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms.”

 

Calum and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

 

“Are you okay, Michael?” Calum asked me gently.

 

“Yeah I guess.” I lied. I went to the my dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length tshirt with red lace all around it and black sexy american apparel underwear. When I came out….

 

Calum was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing ‘I just wanna live’ by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn’t supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.

 


	6. Chapter 6. Rejects

AN: shjt up pesantz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

 

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The next day I woke up in my bedroom. I put on black skinnyjeans that were all ripped around the end and a matching top with Kurt cobain's face on it it and combat boots that were black. I put on a punk eyebrowring, and two black dots in my ears. I dyed my hair with purple hairspray.

 

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

 

“Bastard!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a punk boy with sexah blonde hair. He was wearing a hawt lipring in his really nice red lips. He didn’t have blue eyes anymore bcos he was wearing red contact lenses just like Calum’s and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy Australian accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I’m a punk rock so I didn’t get one you sicko.

 

“I’m so sorry.” he said in a shy voice.

 

“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.

 

“My name’s Luke Hemmings, although most people call me Penguin these days.” he grumbled.

 

“Why?” I exclaimed.

 

“Because @luke_is_a_penguin (rip).” he giggled.

 

“Well, I am a punk.” I confessed.

 

“Really?” he whimpered.

 

“Yeah.” I roared.

  
We sat down to talk for a while. Then Calum came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.


	7. Chapter 7. Heartbreak Boy

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Mickey isn’t a Garie Stew ok he isn’t perfect HES A PUNK! n he has problemz hes angsty nd emo 4 godz sake!

 

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Calum and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Rock sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Garu Stue 2 u?). I waved to Penguin. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Calum. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Calmu. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…………

 

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather boxers and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy’s thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)

 

“Oh Calum, Calum!” I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Calum's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody punk rock writing were the words…....................................................................................……… PENGUIN!

 

I was so angry.

 

“You bastard!” I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

 

“No! No! But you don’t understand!” Calum pleaded. But I knew too much.

 

“No, you fucking idiot!” I shouted. “You probably have AIDs anyway!”

 

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Calum ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Penguin's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Lovelis and some other people.

  
“PENGUIN HEMMO, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” I yelled.


	8. Chapter 8. Preppy Love Affair

AN: stop flassing ok! if u do den u r a preasant!

 

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Everyone in the class stared at me and then Caluum came into the room even though he was naked (he had a rlly big he-who-must-not-be-named but i didnt car cos i was mad n no one else card cos theyd all scene it b4) and started begging me to take him back.

 

“Mikey, it’s not what you think!” Calum screamed sadly.

 

My friend Fet'cher Irwin smiled at me understatedly. He flipped his long neck-length punk gold hair and opened his crimson eyes like blood that he was wearing contact lenses on. He had pale white skin that he was wearing white makeup on. Ashton was kidnapped when he was born. His real parents are punks and one of them is an emo but Halsey killed his mother and his father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. He still has nightmares about it and he is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out his real first name is Flet'cher and not Ashton. (Since he has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. )

 

“What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!” Nia Lovelis demeaned angrily in her cold voice but I ignored her.

 

“Penguin, I can’t believe you cheated on me with Calum!” I shouted at him.

 

Everyone gasped.

 

I don’t know why Luke was so mad at me. I had went out with Penguin(I’m bi af and so is Michael) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Justin Bieber, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was punk. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

 

“But I’m not going out with Calum anymore!” said Penguin.

 

“Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!” I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Calum and then I started to bust into tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No hate intended to Halsey for casting her as Voldemort. It had to be someone and since she has a stage name and an actual name she seemed best. If you don't know (see what I did there?) why then you'll see eventually.


	9. Chapter 9. Everything I Didn't Say

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da mags! dis is frum da songz ok so itz nut my folt if dad hoppus fux dogs! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson nia dosent lik luke now is coz shes a prep and penguin is a punk! BLINK ROX!

 

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I was so mad and sad. I couldn’t believe Calum for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Calum.

 

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible woman with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! She didn’t have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the HP movie) and she was wearing all black wif a blue pixie cut but it was obvious she wasn’t punk. It was…… Halsey!

 

“No!” I shouted in a scared voice but then Halsey shouted “Imperius!” and I couldn’t run away.

 

“Crookshanks!” I shouted at her. Hasey fell of her broom and started to scream. I felt bad for her even though I’m hardcore so I stopped.

 

“Michael.” he yelled. “Thou must kill Penguin Hemmings!”

 

I thought about Penguin and his sexah eyes and his sexah quiffed hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Calum had said I didn’t understand, so I thought, what if Calum went out with Penguin before I went out with him and they broke up?

 

“No, Halsey!” I shouted back.

 

Halsey gave me a gun. “No! Please!” I begged.

 

“Thou must!” she yelled. “If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Calum!”

 

“How did you know?” I asked in a surprised way.

 

Halsey got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. “I hath telekinesis.” she answered cruelly. “And if you doth not kill Penguin, then thou know what will happen to Calum!” she shouted. Then she flew away angrily on his broomstick.

 

I was so scared and mad I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly Calum came into the woods.

 

“Calum!” I said. “Hi!”

 

“Hi.” he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing black nail polish and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

 

“Are you okay?” I asked.

 

“No.” he answered.

 

“I’m sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me.” I expelled.

 

“That’s okay.” he said all depressed and we went back into hi or hey together making out.


	10. Chapter 10. Jet Black Heart

AN: stup it u gay fags if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! ps it turnz out flet’cher irwin isn’t a fuckboi afert al n he n penguin r punk datz y dey movd houses ok!

 

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I was really scared about Hlasey all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my punk rock band 5 Seconds of Summer. I am the lead guitarist of it and I also sing. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. The other people in the band are Flet’cher Irwin, Penguin, and Calum. Only today Calum and Penguin were depressed so they weren’t coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Calum was probably listening to hip hop (he wouldn’t die because he was a punk too and the only way you can kill a punk is with d-r-u-g-s (there’s no way I’m writing that) or a steak) and Penguin was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my tattoos and black matching skinny jeans that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I’m a slut but I’m really not cos I'm a meme.

 

We were singing a cover of ‘Teenage Dream’ and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

 

“Michael! Are you OK?” Flet’cher Irwin asked in a concerted voice.

 

“What the fuck do you think?” I asked angrily. And then I said. “Well, Halsey came and the fucking witchy bitch told me to fucking kill Luke! But I don’t want to kill him, because, he’s really nice, even if he did go out with Calum. But if I don’t kill Luke, then Halsey, will fucking kill Calum!” I burst into tears.

Suddenly Calum jumped out from behind a wall.

 

“Why didn’t you fucking tell me!” he shouted. “How could you- you- you fucking bitchy poser don't stop acoustic!” (c is dat out of character?)

 

I started to cry and cry. Calum started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.

 

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Markus Hopp walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn’t cause he had a headache.

 

“What have you done!” He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) “Michael Calum has been found in his room. He committed suicide by beign part of too much drama.”


	11. Chapter 11. Michael Looks So Perfect

AN: i sed stup flaming up peazantz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend bryana 4 hleping me!

 

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“NO!” I screamed. I was horrorfied! Flet’cher Irwin tried to comfort me but I told him fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Mark Hoppus chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.

 

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I drank lots of beer. It got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Slipknot song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut 5SOS tshirt with lace all over it sandly. I put on black converse with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn’t fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Ni Loveless was spying on me and she was taking a video tape of me! And Reyna was masticating to it! They were sitting on their private jets.

 

“EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!” I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Travis Barker on it. Suddenly Penguin ran in.

 

“Abra Kedavra!” he yelled at Nia and Rena pointing his womb and really confusing me cos I thought he was a guy nad only girls have wombs but I didnt question it. I took my gun and shot Nia and Rena a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Mark Hoppus ran in. “Micheal, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” he shouted looking at Nia and Rena and then he was his awesome self and suddenly…

 

Zayn ran outside on his solo career and said everyone we need to talk.

 

“What do you know, Zayn? You’re just a little solo artist! You couldn't even stay in your band!”

 

“I MAY BE A SOLO ARTIST….” Hargirid paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A PUNK!”

 

“This cannot be.” Nia said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from her hand where Mark Hoppus's awesomeness had shot her. “There must be other factors.”

 

“YOU DON’T HAVE ANY!” I yelled in madly.

 

Rena held up the camera triumelephantly. “The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!”

 

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.

 

“Why are you doing this?” Rena said angrily while she rubbed her dirty hands on her hare extensions.

 

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

 

“BECAUSE…BECAUSE….” Zayn said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a punk version of a song by 50 Cent.

 

“Because you were in a boyband?” Nia asked in a little afraid voice cause she was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

 

“Because I LOVE HIM!”


	12. Chapter 12. Beside You

AN: stop f,aing ok zayn is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in the musik industrie r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! how du u no nia iant prep plus zayn isn’t really in luv wif micheal dat was zack amerricka ok!

 

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I was about to drink beer again from the sixty pack that Clam had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

 

“NO!” I THOUGHT IT WAS ZAyn but it was Penguin. He started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY LIP HURTS!” and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

 

I stopped. “How did u know?”

 

“I saw it! And my lip is whole!”

 

“NO!” I ran up closer. “I thought you had it pierced!” I shouted.

 

“I did but Jack Barakat pierced it for me and I always cover it up with a lipring.” he said back. “Anyway my lip hurt and it turned back into a whole lip! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Calum…………….Haksey has him bondage!”

 

Anyway I was in the school nurse’s office now recovering from my alcohol poisoning. Nia and Rena and ZAYN were there too. They were going to St. Mango’s after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can’t have those fucking pervs working in a studio with lots of hot boyz. Markus Hopp had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.

 

Anyway Zayn came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

 

“Micheal I need to tell u somethnig.” he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.

 

“Fuck off.” I told him. “You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don’t like fucked up boyband dropouts like you.” I snapped. Zayn had been mean to me before for being punm rocm.

 

“No Micheal.” Zayn says. “Those are not roses.”

 

“What, are they puncs too you poser solo artist?” I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

 

“I saved your life!” He yelled angrily. “No you didn’t I replied.” “You saved me from getting a Tommy Lee p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by nia and Rena.” Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently.

 

“Whatever!” I yelled angirly.

 

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. “These aren’t roses.” He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Hey, SATAN Payin' my dues Playin' in a ROCKIN BAND! .

 

“That’s not a spell that’s an ACDC song.” I corrected him wisely.

 

“I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes.” Then he screamed. “Petulus merengo alternatio curunt dirctio curunt(4 all u cool bogan acdc fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for bryana I love you girl!)higho wayo too hello!”

 

And then the roses turned into a huge platinum record plaque floating in the middle of the air. And it was platinum. Now I knew he wasn’t a peasant.

 

“OK I believe you now wtf is Kalum?”

 

Zayn rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.

 

“U c, Michhael,” Markus Hopp said, watching the two of us watching the plaque. “2 c wht iz n da plaq(HAHA U REVIEWRS R AS BAD AS PLAQ IN MY TEETH GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?”

 

“I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!” Zayn yelled. mARKus Hopp lookd shockd. I guess he didn’t have a headache or else he would have said something back and maybe even fuckd another animal.

 

Zayn stormed off back into his bed. “U r a liar, lord and saviour and father of modern punk music Mark Hoppus!”

 

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather skinnyjeans that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I cut my hair so I looked like Dan from the danisnotonfire (if u don’t know who he iz ur a preasant so fuk off!) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

 

“You look kawai, mate.” Flet’cher Irwin said sadly. “Fangs (geddit) you do too.” I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I drank both of my shots feeling totally depressed and I licked up all the last droplets. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Nia and rEna couldn’t spy on me this time. I went to some recording seeions. Penguin was in the booth. He looked all depressed because Calum had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Calum. He was sucking some blood from a intern.

 

“Hi.” he said in a depressed way. “Hi back.” I said in an wqually said way.

 

We both looked at each other for some time. Luke had beautiful red punk eyes so much like Calums. Then……… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.

 

“STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!” shouted Professor Doorson who was watching us and so was everyone else.

 

“Penguin you fucker!” I said slapping him. “Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Calum!” I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

 

Just then he started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY LIP HURTS!” and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

 

“N O!” I ran up closer. 

 

“I thought you had it pierced!” I shouted.

 

“I did but Jack Barakat pierced it for me and I always cover it up with a lipring.” he said back. “Anyway my lip hurt and it turned back into a whole lip! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Calum…………….Haksey has him bondage!”

 

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SPECIAL FANGZ 2 BRYANA MY PUNC BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111

 

HEY BRYANA DO U KNOW WHERE MY SNAPBACK I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now you know why Luke isn't wearing his lipring, because this is all 100% true, right?


	13. Chapter 13. Broken Lair

AN: bryana fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of benji but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom! PEZANTZ STOP FLAMIGNG!

 

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Penguin and I ran up the stairs looking for Mark Hoppus. We were so scared.

 

“Mark Hoppus Markus Hopp!” we both yelled. Mark Hoppus came there.

 

“What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?” he asked angrily.

 

“Hasley has Calum!” we shouted at the same time.

 

He laughed in an evil voice.

 

“No! Don’t! We need to save Calum!” we begged.

 

“No.” he said meanly. “I don’t give a darn what Halsey does to Calum. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Michele.” he said while he frowned looking at me. “Besides I never liked him that much anyway. He was 2 punk rock 4 me.” then he walked away. Penguin started crying. “My Calum!” he moaned. (AN: don’t u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!)

 

“Its okay!” I tried to tell him but that didn’t stop him because someone else had told him don't stop doing what your doing. He started to cry tears of blood. Then he had a brainstorm. “I had an idea!” he exclaimed.

 

“What?” I asked him.

 

“You’ll see.” he said. He took out his sports car and drove. Then…… suddenly we were in Hlasye's lair!

 

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. “Allah Kedavra!”

It was……………………………….. Halsey!


	14. Chapter 14. Michael's Out Of Your Limit

AN: fuk off PEZANTZ ok! Bryana fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I rot songz dat wer 2 sad. PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws!

 

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WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.

 

We ran to where Halcey was. It turned out that Halsey wasn’t there. Instead the fat guy who killed Zack Merrick was. Calum was there crying tears of blood. Jeremy Popoff was torturing him. Penguin and I ran in front of Jeremy Popoff.

 

“Rid my sight you despicable peasants!” he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. “MichaelIloveyouwiluhavesexwithme.” he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)

 

“Huh?” I asked.

”Michela I love you will you have sex with me?” asked Jezza Popoff. I started laughing crudely. “What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard.” I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.

 

“Nooooooooooooo!” he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly.

 

“Jezza what art thou doing?” called Halsey. Then…… she started coming! We could hear her high heels clacking to us. So we got in our expensive convertible sportscars and we drew to Hi or hey. We went to my room. Penguin went away. There I started crying.

 

“What’s wrong honey?” asked Calum taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything.

 

“Its so unfair!” I yielded. “Why can’t I just be ugly or plain like all da other boys and pesantz here except for Flet’cher Irwin, because he’s not ugly or anything.”

 

“Why would you wanna be ugly? I don’t like the peasants anyway. They are such fucking sluts.” answered Calum.

  
“Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Nia and Rena took a video of me naked. Zayn says he’s in love with me. Penguin likes me and now even Jezza Popoff is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Calum! Why couldn’t Satan have made me less beautiful?” I shouted angrily. (an” don’t wory micheal isn’t a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told him hes pretty) “Im good at too many things! WHY CAN’T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT’S A FUCKING CURSE!” I shouted and then I ran away.


	15. Chapter 15. Kiss Me Kiss Me

AN: stup flaming ok! btw u suk frum no on evry tim sum1 flams me im gona rit a sad song! fangz 2 bryana 4 hlpein!

 

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“Michael Michael!” shouted Calum sadly. “No, please, come back!”

 

But I was too mad.

 

“Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Penguin!” I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Jimmy Eat World on it. THey looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Calum and Penguin. I started to cry and weep. I took a bottle and started to drink lotz of beer. I drank the beer all depressed. Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to a recording sess.

 

I put on a short ripped black punk muscle top that said The Offspring on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black skinny jeans and pitch black boots that said Joel all over them with pitch black letters so you couldn't actually see them unless you were punk rock enough. I put my candy floss pink hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced guitar riffs. I was turning a G into a F#. Suddenly the guitar turned to Calum!

 

“Michele I love you!” he shouted sadly. “I dnot care what those fucker peasants and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful boy in the world. Before I met you I used to want to play soccer all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you and play bass. I fucking love you!.” Then……………. he started to sing “Da Chronicles of Life and Death” (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it) right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and punk and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Taka, Josh Ramsay and Kellin Quinn (AN: don’t u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) .

 

“OMFG.” I said after he was finished. Some fucking peapants stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Calum’s now) at them. “I love you!” I said and then we started to kiss just like Kirsten Dunst (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and Toby Mac-G in a Spider Man only up tha right way. Then we went away holding hands. Rena shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmede right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether.


	16. Chapter 16. Ashley Frangipane Didn't Want My Money

AN: u no wut! sut up ok! proov 2 me ur nut pepentz! bryana u suk u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet ur supsd 2 rit dis! Bryana wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis! BTW fangz 2 mrshemmo5297 4 techin muh japnese!

 

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We ran happily to Hogsmede. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. MCR were there playing ‘Helena’. I was so fucking happy espeshialy cos they had borken up 3 years ago (AN: soz not soz)! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Calum thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn’t matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a black leather tank top and black leather platinum boots with black ripped skinnyjeans. Calum was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn’t them at all. It was.,……………………….. Halsey and Troy Sivan!

 

“Wtf Calum im not going to a concert wid u!” I shouted angrily. “Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them”

 

“What cause we…you know…” he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys don’t like to talk a bout you-know-what.

 

“Yeah cause we you know!” I yielded in an angry voice.

 

“We won’t do that again.” Calum promised. “This time, we’re going with an ESCORT.”

 

“OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?” I asked. “So I guess ur a pasant or a prep or what now?”

 

“NO.” he muttered loudly.

 

“R u becoming a prep or what?” I shootd angrily.

 

“Michaeley! I’m not! Pls come with me!” He fell down to his knees and started singing ‘Da world is black’ by GC to me.

 

I was flattened cause that’s not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me (or maybe he wunted 2 lern dem 4 himslef but i decided 2 tak it as a complewent nyway)!

 

“OK then I guess I will have to.” I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.

 

Flet’cher Irwin was standing there. “Hajimemashite mate.” he said happily (he spex Japanese so do i. dat menz ‘how do u do’ in japanese). “BTW Miranda Mller that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math.” (an: BRYANA U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!)

 

“It serves that fuking bich right.” I laughed angrily.

 

Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some punk movies like sCot Pigrim VS das world. “Maybe Mrianda will die too.” I said.

 

“Kawai.” Flet’cher Erin shook his head enrgtically lethrigcly. “Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den rena did it with her cause he’s a necphilak.”

 

“Kawai.” I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie.

 

“OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with kalem tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr.” I sed. “ I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA.”

 

Flet’Cher Erwun Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. “Omfg totally lets go shopping.”

 

“In American Aparelle, right?” I asked, already getting out my spshcial Murica April Loiyalty carde.

 

“No.” My head snaped up.

 

‘WHAT?” my head spuin. I could not believe it. “Flet’Cher Irwin are u a PEaSANT?”

 

“NOOOO!NOOOO!” he laughed. “I found some cool punkstores near Hi or Hey that’s all.”

 

“Hu told u abut them” I askd sure it would be Calem or jAck Bakaret or Penguin(don’t even SAY that nam to me!). Or me.

 

“Markus Hopp.” He sed. “Let me just call our chofurs.”

 

“OMFFG MARKUS HOPp?” I asked quietly.

 

“Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk.” He told me. “Come on let’s go.”

 

We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN THE ROCK EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few band tees. “We only have these for da real punkz.”

 

“Da real puns?” Me and Flet’Cher Irwin asked.

 

“Yah u wouldn’t believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday rena and knee tried to buy a punc camera pouch.” She shook his head. “I dint even no they had a camera.”

 

“OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!” I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black sex pIsrols with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit.

 

“Oh my fuckshitdickballs you have to buy that outfit” The salesperson said.

 

“Yeah it looks totlly hot.” said Flet’Cher Irwin.

 

“You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?” she asked.

 

“Yeah I am actually.” I looked back at her. “Hey BTW my name’s michele gor'don amnesia KAREN clifford what’s yours?”

 

“Ashley Frangipane.” HSh said and ran a hand through her black-dyed urly shot hair. “maybe I’ll see you there tonight.”

 

“Yeah I don’t think so cause I am going there with my bf calim you sick perv!” I yelled angrily, but before she could beg me to go with her, Zane drove in on his black segwaie looking worried. “OMFG MIKALE U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also no hate intended to Bryana, Miranda, Nia, Rena or anyone else that has been insulted at any stage of this story that I've put so much time and effort into to make as grammatically correct as possible (note the sarcasm in that last bit). That's just the way the story goes I have no say in it, the story just writes itself (either that or it was written by and 11 year old back in like 2006 and I'm just changing the fandom because every fandom needs My Immortal).


	17. Chapter 17. Over and Over

AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! if ur a pesent den dnot red it! u kin tel weder ur a pesant or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF! pz mranda isn’t rely a prep. Bryana plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr!

 

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Ashley Frabgipany gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. She said she wud help us wif makeup if qe wunted koz she was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (shes bisezual). Zain kept shooting at us to cum back 2 hi odr hey. “WTF Zany?” I shouted angrily. “Fuck off you fjucking bastard.” Well anyway Miranda came. Zani went away angrily.

 

“Hey bitch you look kawaii.” she said.

 

“Yah but not as kawaii as you.” I answered sadly cause Miranda’s really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black singlet-thingy with andy biersacks fac on it and a blak blue-denim fraid jorts and black covners that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic.

 

“So r u going 2 da concert wif Calmu?” she asked.

 

“Yah.” I said happily.

 

“I’m gong with Jack.” she anserred happily. Well anyway Calm and Jakc came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Jakc Bakret was wearing a black t-shirt that said ‘Party Hard’ on it. He was a red streaks in his har. Cum was wearing black leather pants, a punk black GC muscle t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. Flet’cher Win was going 2 da concert wif Bohnes. Bohnes used to be called Alexnda DeLeon but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were hardcore. They dyed in a car crash. Axel converted to Fanboyism and he went punk. He was in Slitherin now. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Bones now. Well anyway we al went 2 Clum’s black Mohawk-bike (geddit cuz wer punk) that his dad Louis gave him. We did pot, coke and crak. Calum and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking pesantz. We soon got there…….I gapsed.

 

Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn’t Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy woman wif no nose and red eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Calum. Calum and I came. It was…….Hlasey and Troy Sivan!

 

“U moronic idiots!” she shooted angstily. “mIchele, I told u to kill Penguin. Thou have failed. And now……….I shall kill thou and Calum!”

 

“No no please!” We begged sadly but he took out his knife.

 

Sudenly a punk old man flu in on his guitar. He had shurt black hair and no black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed ‘avril lavigne’ on da back. He shotted a spel and Hlasey ran away. It was…………………………………MARKUS HOPP!

 


	18. Chapter 18. Lost in Reality of Punk Posers

AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! if u do den ur a fuken peasent! fangz 2 bryana 4 da help n stuf. u rok! n ur nut a pesnut. fangz for muh sewter! ps da oder eson mrakus ho[p swor is koz he trin 2 be pkun so der!

 

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I woke up the next day in my bed. I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, blood-bed lipstick and a black really low-cut leather tshit that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly. I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it.

 

(Da night before Calum and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im in 5sos n owa logo has a skul). Markus Hopp chased Hlasey away. We flew there on our segweys. Mine was black and the wheel-stuff was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Claum had a black FOB sgway. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.)

 

Well anyway I went down to the cafteria. There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant. And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys.

 

“WTF!” I shouted going to sit next to Flet’cher Irwin and Mrinda Miller. Flet’cher Irwin was wearing a black leather mini with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Miranda Muller was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets. Penguin, Bohnes and Clam came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in cause they were bi.

 

“Those guys are so fucking hot.” Axel was saying as suddenly a pun kold man with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away Hlasye yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black.

 

“……………….MARKUS HOPP?1!” we all gasped.

 

“WTF?” I shouted angrily. “I thought he was just wearing that to scare Hlasye!”

 

“Hello everyone.” he said happily. “As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?”

 

Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer. Well we punks just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn’t believe what a poser he was!1.

 

“BTW you can call me Marcellus.” HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes.

 

“What a fucking poser!” Calum shouted angrily as we we to Transfomation. We were holding hands. Penguin looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a punk way (geddit, way lik Gerard) but I didn’t say anything. “I bet he’s havin a mid-life crisis!” Mrenda shouted.

 

I was so fucking angry.


	19. Chapter 19. Green Light To Go To The Concert

AN: plz stup flaming da story if u do ur a foken pzunt n ur jelous ok!11 frum noq un im gong 2 delt ur men reviowz!111 BTW mikald a poorblod so der!1 fangz 2 bryana 4m da help!11

 

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All day we sat angerly finking about Mrakus Hop. We were so fucking pissed off. Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da MCR concert. It had been postphoned, so we could all go.

 

Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut a ritng sessiom. Calum was being all secretive.

 

I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty (rnt sensitve bi guyz so hot).

 

“No one fucking understands me!1” he shouted angrily as his black hare went in his big brown eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of BORKEN Dreamz. He was wearing black skinny janes, a black Metalika t-shirt and a black die. (geddit insted of tie koz im punc) I was wearing a blak leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it a blak leather jeans, black high held boots and a cross iBrow fing. My hair was al up in a messy relly emo stile like Pepe Wentz in Da Pic. (email me if u wana see da pik)

 

“Accuse me? What about me!” I growled.

 

“Buy-but-but-” he grunted.

 

“You fucking bastard!” I moaned.

 

“No! Wait! It’s not what it fucking looks like!” he shouted.

 

But it was to late. I knew what I herd. I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. Claim banged on the door. I whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my faces like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois (bryana that is soo our video!). I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot.

 

Suddenly zayn came. He had appearated.

 

“You gave me a fucking shock!” I shouted angrily dropping my pot. “Wtf do you fink you’re doing in da cool pepe's room?”

 

Only it wasn’t just Zayn. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b Ashton Frangipane or maybe Calum but it was Markus Hopp.

 

“Hey I need to ask you a question.” he said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse. “What are u wearing to the concert?”

 

“U no who MCR r!” I gasped.

 

“No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2.” He said. “Anyway Clam has a surprise for u.”


	20. Chapter 20. Heartache In The Mosh Pit

AN: I sed I dnoty ker wut u fink! stof pflamin ok peeants!1 fangz 2 briana 4 da help!1 oh yah btw ill be un vacation in loss vegus 4 rawred tower 4 da nex 3 dayz so dnot expect updatz.

 

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All day I wondered what the surprise was. Meanwhile, I pot on a blak ledder muscle t, a blak skinny jean with urple lace stuff all over it, an black punk compact boots. MCR were gong 2 do the concert again, since Hlaxey had taken over the last one. I slit my wrists while I moshed 2 MCR in my bedroom all night, feeling excited. Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on sum black clothes and moshing to Fang u 4 da Venom. I gut all mad and turned it of, but sacredly I hopped inside dat it was Calm so we could do it again.

 

“Wut de fucking hell r u doing!” I shouted angrily. It was Reena! “R u gonna cum wrap me or what.” I yelled. I was allowed to say dat because Markus Hopp had told us all 2 be careful around hem and Niya since she was a pedo.

 

“No, actshelly (geddit, hell) kan I plz burrow sum condements.” he growld angrily.

 

“Yah, so u can fuk ur six-yr-old gurlfriend, huh?” I shouted sarkastikally.

 

“Fuker.” sHe said, gong away.

 

Well anyway, I put on some black eyesharow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white foundation (AN: makup iz also 4 boyz it maks dem lok pertty wich most of da tim boyz r not). Then I went. Den I gasped…………………………………………………………….Nia and Rens were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and DR Teef (AN: lik from da mupts dont u fink hes hot 4 a mupt?) was watching!1

 

“Oh my god you ludacris idiot!” they both shooted angrily when they saw me. Dr Teet ran away crying. Dey got up, though. Normally I wood have ben turned on (I luv cing guyz do it) but both of them were fuking presentz. (btw knee is movd 2 griffindoor now)

 

“WTF is that why u wanted condoms?” I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat n i totly dint bing it (AN: goggle is 4 pesentz bing is 4 cool punk pepes)

 

“Only you wouldn’t give them to me!” Renter shouted angrily.

 

“Well you shoulda told me.” I replayed.

 

“You dimwit!.” Niah began 2 shoot angrily. And then………I took out my black camera and took a pic of them. U could see that they were naked and everything.

 

“Well xcuse me!” they both shouted angrily. “What was dat al about?”

 

“It wuz to blackmail u.” I snarked. “So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you cant fuking rat me out or I’ll show dis to Mrakus Hopp. So fuck off, u biches!” I strated to run. They chased me but I threw my wound at them and dey tripped over it. Well anyway, I went outside and there was Penguin, looking extremely fucking hot.

 

“WTF where’d Calum?” I asked him.

 

“Oh he’s bein a fucking bastard. He told me he wouldn’t cum.” Penguin said shaking his hed. “U wanna cum with me? 2 the concert?”

 

Then….. he showed me his flying car. I gasped. It was a black car. He said his dogfather Lexi Gaskarth had given it 2 him. The license plate on the front sed MCR666 on it. The one on da back said ‘MICHEAL’ on it.

 

……….I gasped b cos it waz ilegal 2 hav license plates that dont match nd tht made him so much more punk rok nd hot nd also it waz my nam so i waz falterred.

 

We flew to the concert hall. MCR were there, playing.

 

Penguin and I began 2 make out, moshing to the muzik. I gapsed, looking at da band.

 

I almost had an orgasim. Gerard was so fucking hot! He begin 2 sing ‘Helena’ and his sexah beautiful voice began 2 fill the hall. ……….And den, I heard some crrying. I turned and saw Claum, cryin in a corner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am actually so sorry for basically all of this one


	21. Chapter 21. Calum's Lonely Like A Castaway

AN: fuk u ok! u fokng suk. itz nut ma fult if itz speld rong ok koz dat bich bryanar cuz it fok u pesentz!1 woopz soz bryrawrXDna fangz 4 da help. btw wrapped toer rox hrad!1 I even gut 2 go 2 da stag wer sum52 played! Also stup flming if u use google u r a pesant only tru punks use bing nd if u flaming den u r a pozer prepy pesent bich!

 

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Later we all went in the skull (geddit cos skulls r punk rock). Calum was crying in da common room. “Calum are u okay?” I asked in a punk voice.

 

“No I’m not u fuking bbrastrd!” he shouted angrily. He stated to run out of the place in a suicidal way. I stated to cry cuz I was afraid he would commit suicide.

 

“Its ok My Kale.” said Penguin comfortly. “Ill make him feel better.”

 

“U mean you’ll go fuck him wont you!” I shouted angrily. Then I ran 2 get Calmu. Penguin came too.

 

“Calum please come!” he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pail face. I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. (if ur a homophone den fuk of!)

 

And then………………………….. we herd sum footsteps! Prnguin got out his blak invincibility coke. We both gut under it. We saw the kool mcFly guy Tom Fletcher there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand.

 

“WHOSE THERE!” he shouted angrily. We saw Buzz come. He went unda da invisibility cloke and started to cry loudly.

 

“IS ANY1 THERE!” yelled Tom Flecthre.

 

“No fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich!” Penguin said under his breast in a disgusted way.

 

“EXCUS ME! EXCUS ME WHO SED DAT!” yelled Tom Fletherc. Den he heard Buzz cri. “Buzz is der any1 unda da cloak!” he asked. Buzz nodded. And then……………………….Pengazine frenched me! He did it jus as…………………….. Mot Fletcher was taking of da cloak!1

 

“WHAT DA-” he yelled but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruining away frum him. And den we saw Calum crying n bustin in2 tearz and slitting his rists outside of da stewdio.

 

“Calum!” I cried. “R u okay?”

 

“I guess though.” Calum weeped. We went back to our coffins frenching each other. Calum and I decided to watch High Skull Moosical (c isnt da deprezzin) on the punk red bed together. As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knok on the door and Joe Jones and da DNCE Jones Bros walked into the studieo (geddit die coz im punk)!1


	22. Chapter 22. Waste The Chapter Describing Outfits

_AN: stfu! pezantz stup flaming ok if u dnot lik it fuk of I no itz buddy nno buzz itz bryaan’s folt ok!11 u suk!1 no jus kidding bryana u fokieng rok pesentz suk!1_

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All day everyone talked about the Jo Bros nd DNcE. Well anyway, I woke up the next day. I was in my coffin so I opened the door. I was wearing blak lacey leather pajamas. Then I gasped.

Standing in front of me where………………. Flet'cher Irwin, Penguin, Jack Bakaret, Calum, Bohnes and Mirandan Miller! I opened my crimson eyes. Mirandie Miller was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of Hayley Wooliams all over it. Under that she wart a black poofy skirt wit lace on it and black punk boots that was attached to the top. Penguin was wearing a baggy Queen t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Calum was wearing a black Niravna t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just likee Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeuof, and almost as fucking sexy. Penguin looked like Joel Madden. Felt'cher Irwin  was wearing a tight black poofy punk sweetpants that he had ripped so it showed of all his leg with a white tee that had the Pretty. Odd. album art on it kind of like one [sweater](http://wheretoget.it/look/475770) I had seen wear once. Hayley Williams from Paramore (who is Hayley Williams) was there too. She was weaving a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were Josh Dun and Handy Urley. It turns out that Hayley Williams from Parasore, Jack Bakaret, Josh Dun and Handy Urley’s dad was a punk. He committed suicide by joining the 27 club. He had raped them and stuff before too. They all got so depressed that they became punk and converted to Stanism. “OMFG” I yielded as I jumped up. “Why the fuck are u all here?”

“Micheal something is really fucked up.” Claum said.

“OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first.” I shouted angrily.

“It’s all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. Your so fucking beautiful.” Calum said in a sexy voice.

“Oh all right.” I said smiling. “But you have to tell me why your being all erective.”

“I will I will.” he said.

So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation. Then I came. We all went outside the Great Hal and looked in from a widow. A fucking prep called Justin Beaver from Griffindoor was standing next to us. He was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her. Inside the Great Hall we could see Markus Hopp. Jo Jonsa was there shouting at Markus Hopp. Meghan Sneaker was there too.

“THIS CANNOT BE!” she shouted angrily. “THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!”

“THE BARK LORD IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!” yelled Jo Jonsa.

“YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!” yelled Meghan Sneaker. “YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY OR HALSEY WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!”

“Very well.” Markus Hoop said angrily. “Butt we cannot do this. We can’t close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Halsey and he is in the school. And his name is…………………………………………………………………..Michael Gor'don Amnesia Bryana Clifford.”

Calum, Josh Dun, Handy Urley, Hayley Willimas from Paramore, Miradnd Miller, Penguin and Flet'cher Irwin looked at each other………I gasped.


	23. Chapter 23. Michael is Penguin and Calum's Safety Pin

_AN: dhut da fok up biches!1 ur jus jelos koz I gut 666 reviowz!1 fangz 2 bryana 4 da help n telin me bout da boox gurlu rok letz go shopin 2getha!_

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The door opened and Meghan Sneaker and Joe Jonas stomped out angrily. Then Markus Hopp and Megen Sneaker sawed us.

“MRS. CLIFFORD WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!” Megane Sneaker shouted angrily. Markus Hopp blared at her.

“Oops she made a mistake!” he corrupted her. “She means hi everybody cum in!”

Well we all came in angrily. So did all the other students. I sat between Hayley Williams frum Parsmore and Calum and opposite Flet'cher Irwin. Josh Dun and Handy Urley started 2 make some morbid jokes. They both looked exactly like Ville Vollo. I eight some Count Chocula and drank som blood from a cup. Then I herd someone shooting angrily. I looked behind me it was………Penguin! He and Calum were shooting at eachother.

“Penguin , Calam WTF?” I asked.

“You fucking bustard!” yelled Clam at Pengween. “I want to shit next to him!1”

“No I do!” shouted.

“No he doesn’t fucking like u, you son of a bitch!” yelled Calaum.

“No fuck you motherfucker he laves me not you!” shouted Penguin. And then……………… he jumped on Calum! (no not in dat way u sik pervy cake shipper) They started to fight and beat up each other.

Mrakys Hopp yelled at them but they didn’t stop. All of a sudden…… a terrible woman with red eyes and no nose flew in on her broomstick. sHe had no nose and was wearing a gray robe. All the glass in the window she flew thru fell apart. Justin Bieber that fucking prep started to cry. Penguin and Calum stopped fighting….I shopped eating….Everyone gasped. Da room fell silent………………….Halzey!

“Mikeal…..Mikael…….” Mariana Dimondes sed evilly in her raspy voice. “Thou havfe failed ur mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Penguin as well. If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Calum too!”

“Plz don’t make me kill him plz!” I begged.

“No!” she laughed crudely. “Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!” Then she flew away cackling.

I bust into tears. Calum and Penguin came to contort me. Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and punk rock. I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then Hlsaye coming to kill Calum while Calum slit his wrists in a depressed way.

“No!” I screamed sexily. Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision.

“Michael Michale aure you alright?” asked Calum in a worried voice.

“Yeah yeah.” I said sadly as I got up.

“Everyfing’s all right Micheal.” said Penguin all sensetive.

“No its not!” I shouted angrily. Tearz of blood went down my face. “OMFG what if I’m getting possessed like in Da Ring 2!”

“Its ok mate.” said Flet'cher Irwin. “Maybe u should ask Emo Punk God Pepe Wentz about what the visions mean though.”

“Ok mate.” I said sadly and den we went.


	24. Chapter 24. I Want To Breathe Emo Punk God Pepe Wentz In Like A Vapor

AN: pesentz stup flaming da story ur jus jelous so fuk u ok go 2 hel!11 bryana fagz 4 di help!

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Well we had the AMAs next so I got to ask Emo Punk God Pepe Wentz about the visions.

“Konnichiwa everybody come in.” said Emo Punk God Pepe Wentz in Japanese. He smelled at me with his punk black eyeliner. He’s da coolest fucking dad. He had short dead black hair with died blonde tips and brown eyes. (hs mom woz a vampire. he’s also haf Japanese so he speaks it and everyfing. he n fet'cher irn get along grate) he’s really young for a dad. 2day he was wearing a black leather top with red lace and a long blackblack skinny jeans. We went inside the black classroom with pastors of Emily the Strong. I raced my hand. I was wearing some black naie Polish with red pentagrams on it.

“What is it Micheal?” he asked. “Hey I love ur nail polish where’d u get it, Hot Topik?”

“Yeah.” I answered. All the preps who didn’t know what HT was gave me weird looks. I gave them the middle finger. “Well I have to talk to you about some fings. When do you want to due it?”

“Ho about now?” he asked.

“OK.” I said.

“OK class fucking dismissed every1.” Emo Punk God Pepe Wentz said and he let every1 go. “Except for you Justin Bieber.” he pointed at Justin Bieber and sum other preps. “Please do exorcize (geddit) 1 on page 3.”

“OK I’m having lotz of visions.” I said in a worried voice. I’m so worried is Calum gong 2 die.

Well he gave me a black cryptal ball to lock in. I looked at it.

“What do you c?” he asked.

“I said I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram.”

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I looked at it. It was Calum. He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet, a black punk Linkin Park t-shirt and blak Congress shoes.

“Okay you can go now, see ya cunt.” said Emo Punk God Pepe Wentz.

“Bye bitch.” I said waving.

I went to Calum and Penguin was sitting next to him. We both followed Calum together and I was so exhibited.


	25. Chapter 25. We'll Find A Way To Fix These Broken Dreams

AN: stop flaming ok if u dnot den il tel Feldz 2 bet u up!1111 n il tel al da nredz 2 put vrtuz in ur computer!11111111111 FUK UU!1 briana fangz for de help!1  
  
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I was so excited. I fellowed Calum wandering if we where going 2 do it again. We went outside and then we went into Caluum's black car.  
  
“Micheal what the fuck did Pattrik Stomp say.” whispered Calum potting his gothic whit hand with bvlak nail polish on mine.  
  
“He said he would tell me what the visions meant torromow.” I grumbled in a sexy voice. He took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it, and gave it to me to spork. He started to fly the car into a tree. We went to the top of it. Calum put on some Blink 128.  
  
“There are only so many ways I can make love with my hand  
Sometimes it makes me want to laugh  
Sometimes I want to take my toaster in the bath.” sang Mark's sexy voice. We started tiling of each other’s cloves fevently. He took of my blak thong and my black leather bar. I took of his black boxers. Then……………………… he put his trobbing you-know-what in my tool sexily.  
  
“OMFG Calum Calm!” I screamed having an orgism. We stated frenching passively. Suddenly………… I fell asleep. I started having a dream. In it a black guy was shooting two goffik men with long black hair.  
  
“No! Please don’t fucking kill us!1” they pleaded but he just kept shooting them. He ran away in a red car.  
  
“No! Oh my fucking god!11” I shouted in a scared voice.  
  
“Michael what’s wrong?” Clammy asked me as I woke up opening my icy blue eyes.  
  
I started to cry and tears of blood went down my face. I told Caluum to call Penguin. He did it with his blak Likin Water Bottles Park (lik in da snapchat geddit?) mobile. Butt the worst thing was who the ppl who were shot in the dream where……………………… Lowis and ALex Gaskart!111


	26. Chapter 26. Social Casualty

AN: PESANTYZ STUP FLAMING SDA STRY OK!1 if u dnot lik da story den go fok urself u fokeng prep! U SUK!111 oh y and I wuznt beng rasist ok!11  
  
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A few mutates later Penguin came 2 da tree. He was wearing a blak leather jackson, black leather pants and a Good Chralotte t-shirt.  
  
“Hi Pengween.” I said flirtily as I started to sob. Calum hugged me sexily tryont to comfrot me. I started to cry tears of blood and then told them what happened.  
  
“Oh fuck it!” Penguin shouted angrily. He4 started to cry sadly. “What fucking dick did that!”  
  
“I don’t know.” I said. “Now come on we have 2 tell Markus Hopp.”  
  
We ran out of the tree and in2 da castle. Markus Hopp was sitting in his office.  
  
“Sire are dads have been shot!” Claum said while we wipped sum tears from his white face. “Micheal had a vision in a dreem.”  
  
Miraculous Hopp started to cockle. “Hahahaha! And How due u aspect me to know Micahel’s not divisional?”  
  
I glared at Mraks Hops.  
  
“Look motherfucker.” he said angrily as Marcus Hop gasped (c is da toot of crakter). “U know very well that I’m not decisional. Now get some fucking ppl out there to look for Louis and Lexi Gaskrath- porno!”  
  
“Okay.” he said in a intimated voice. “Were are they?”  
  
I fought about it. Then all of a sudden….. “Longdong.” I said. I told him which street. He went and called some people and did some stuff. After a few mistunes (geddit cos were in a bnad) he came back and said people were going out looking for them. After a while someone called him again. He said that they had been found. Calum , Pengwin and I all left to our rooms together. I went with Claum to wait in the nurses office while Penguin went to write deprezzing songz in his room. We looked at each other’s gothic, derp-ressed eyes. Then, we kissed. Suddenly Lewis and Lexi Gaskarth came in on stretchers……………………….and Emo Punk God Pepe Wentz was behind them!1


End file.
